


The Scent of a Storm and a Crackling Fire

by MorganBartonRomanoff



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Badass Cassian, Badass Nesta, F/M, Fluff, Mating Bond, Nessian - Freeform, Nesta Takes No Shit, Nesta has issues, POV Cassian (ACoTaR), Rated T for language, illyrian camp, mainly, post acofas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22958332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganBartonRomanoff/pseuds/MorganBartonRomanoff
Summary: When Nesta is sent along with Cassian to the Illyrian Camp, she's obviously less than thrilled. It takes time, but he finally manages to break her shell and uncover a truth he'd suspected of all along.
Relationships: Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	The Scent of a Storm and a Crackling Fire

It hadn’t stopped raining since they had arrived at the camp. Cassian couldn’t help but think how well the weather reflected her mood, almost as if she was causing the storm ravaging the mountain peaks. He wouldn’t be surprised, actually, considering the boundaries of her power were still to be defined.

The trip to the mountains wasn’t difficult, not with Rhys and Mor winnowing them in, but every second spent there seemed like a personal hell to Cassian. Nesta hadn’t spoken to anyone ever since Feyre had informed her about her sentence and the argument that blew up afterwards. She simply complied with hateful glares and sharp movements, unnecessary force. She would barely look at him, and if she did, the only emotion he saw in her eyes was contempt. He had felt her walls going up after the war with Hybern and wondered how he could have missed them growing as thick and strong as they were now, keeping everyone out and her in. Cassian tried to convince himself that it had been _her_ choice, keeping him away, taking the self-destructive path, bottling it all up. But he knew he should have tried harder. He knew that if it had been Mor or Rhys or Az, he would have hauled their asses out of the hole they’d fallen in and kicked them back to their senses. But Nesta… He couldn’t help but be cautious around her, give her space, as if she were a caged animal, and he had done that because he _cared_ about her, because he was afraid that he would scare her away.

He was an idiot. That much he could admit. He should have found the time to help her, but his own duties, his own demons had kept him busy for a long time. He hoped he could make it up to her now, but judging by her attitude, he doubted she would ever even stay in the same room as him. He’d let her stay in the house and set up a war tent right next to it. They had all been on edge about how well the Illyrians would take the news of a mortal-turned-high-fae residing amongst their ranks.

If he was honest, Feyre’s idea had been excellent. Keep Nesta out of trouble and use her to motivate and train the females in the camps. Not physical training, obviously, but mental preparation was just as important. They had to be aware that they shouldn’t be forced to do anything against their will and that standing up for themselves was as essential as breathing. That they were as important as the males.

Despite the constant rain and wind, Nesta had refused to exchange her elegant dresses for leathers. The moment he had made that offer was one of the times she’d looked at him. He could literally hear her flipping him off, so he’d dropped the subject. There was no need to put his hand in the lion’s maw. He would observe her and if he noticed that she was uncomfortable, he would try again. _Subtly_.

Cassian would also leave food in the kitchen every day while she was out with the females, but she rarely ate it. He had noticed her edges sharpen and her frame thin and he’d hated that he couldn’t do anything to change it.

The first time she had stood in front of the cowering females with her bony shoulders set back and her sharp chin raised high, Cassian standing behind her with his arms crossed across his chest, he saw the respect and admiration she stirred in them. He knew  _they_ wouldn’t be a problem, but the warriors were bound to cause trouble. Goddess forbid someone call them  out on their shit. So he stood by her side and ignored her stiff posture whenever he got too close or kept his eyes on her for too long.  He w alked her to and from the room she had been using to conduct her lectures in,  k ept his eyes open and his  stance ready for battle.

He hadn’t been wrong. It took two weeks for the first confrontation. A younger male with too much confidence decided that Nesta had no right to tell his wife she could refuse him something, puffed up like a bird ready for a battle of dominance. He made two mistakes, however. The first one was that he thought to even stand up to her. The second was that he did it with Cassian right next to her. The commander should have known better than thinking she would need his help, though. She stopped in her tracks as the Illyrian stalked up to her and got in her face, spitting curses and poison at her, “putting her in her place”. Still, she kept her mouth shut and it startled Cassian so much that he barely had the time to growl at the offensive male before Nesta swung back and decked him in the nose hard enough for Cassian to hear the satisfying crack of the bone as the asshole staggered back and gripped his face in agony. The commander was by her side in an instant, putting his body in front of hers in a vain attempt to protect her. Her power rolled off her in waves, cold and ancient and dangerous, clashing with the thrumming of his siphons. A deadly combination.

He gripped the male by the collar and brought him close enough to see his pupils constrict upon realizing his foolishness. Cassian was ready to tear him to shreds right then and there had it not been for the small hand on his shoulder blade, sending him a message better than her words could. Not worth it.

And she was right. Of course she was right. That didn’t make it any easier to let go, though. He caught movement in his peripheral vision and looked up to see two of the warriors who actually respected the new laws move towards them. He pushed the male away and let him trip on his own feet.

“Get him in the pit,” he growled with such wrath he barely recognized his own voice. The hand still hadn’t moved from his back. Cassian turned around slowly as they dragged him away and gently took Nesta’s palm in his to inspect the cuts on her knuckles. She hadn’t even flinched. The corners of his mouth twitched. So she still had the fire burning inside of her. That was good. She jerked her hand sharply away from his and turned away to stalk in the way of the house.

The commander frowned. He was aware it was past due time to talk about whatever was still bothering her. But that could wait a few more hours. He had business in the pit now.

* * *

When he got to the house at dusk with his leathers swung over his shoulder, his knuckles were raw and bloody and his whole body was still tense. He hadn’t just used the male as a dummy. No, he’d let him defend himself, prove he had the right to boast around and demand anything. He’d managed to land a blow to Cassian’s temple and two to his abdomen, neither of which he felt, before Cassian beat him to pulp in front of the quiet spectators, the only other sound aside from the male’s grunting the splashing of the rain on the ground and the leathers. He had ordered all warriors to be present. A lesson, he had said.

He reached his tent and stopped in front of the flaps, sneaking a look at the house, contemplating. Screw it, he thought and headed for the door.

He didn’t bother to knock as he entered and took off his muddy shoes. He heard the crackling of the fire in the living room and hoped he wouldn’t have to search the whole house to find her.

Cassian froze in the doorway. She was sitting on the couch with her legs underneath her her, the fabric of her dress and the blanket thrown over her spilling in a pool below her. She was reading a thin tome and swirling amber liquid around in a tumbler with a plate of the meat Cassian had brought earlier on the table next to her.

She didn’t look up when he got closer or when he sat down on the other end of the couch. She didn’t even stiffen or flinch, just flipped a page as if he wasn’t even there. He took a deep breath and turned his body slightly towards her, shifting his wings in a less awkward position, and focused on the sharp tip of her ear. She didn’t bother hiding anymore.

“Nesta.” His voice rumbled like thunder in the silence of the house. “We need to talk.” She flipped another page. He took a deep breath and continued. “Look, I know you can’t stand the sight of me for whatever reason right now, but you can at least hear me out.”

He waited for her to raise her head, to make a sign that she was indeed listening. She blinked and moved her gaze to the next page. Cassian clenched his teeth.

“I know I should have tried harder to talk to you. I should have been right next to you every day until you tried to kill me, until you actually did. Goddess knows I wanted to. But I had duties, Nesta. Duties to my people, to my court, to my High Lord. I couldn’t just abandon everything in the aftermath of a fucking war.”

Nesta smashed the book closed and glared sharply at him, nostrils flared. “You think the world revolves around you, don’t you, Cassian? Well, surprise, surprise. It fucking doesn’t. I didn’t need you. I certainly don’t now. So don’t even bother.” She stood up, the blanket dropping to the ground, and made a step to get away from him, but he was on his feet in a second, grabbing her arm and turning her around.

“You may not need me but you need someone, and being a stuck up bitch and pushing everyone away is not going to help you. Can’t you see that there are people who need you, Nesta? People who love you. Why are you trying to get away from them?” She ripped her arm away from his grasp with a growl.

“Sure. That’s exactly why no one bothered to ask how I felt, holed up in a land I had no fucking desire to be, barely back from the brink of death with a man-child pulling on my dress every time I step with the wrong foot. I watched my father die right in front of me, Cassian. I watched _you_ almost die. And you have no fucking idea how disgusting it felt, every time that cauldron gathered its power for another and another and another blow.” He could only watch her, transfixed. Her fists clenched and her posture defensive and her face contorted in a flood of emotions he had never seen present on her face. Relief overtook his body as he listened to her yell and curse at him. That was better than the never-ending silence.

“My own sisters gave up on me,” she whispered. “They just... left me to deal with it all on my own. They were all I had left and they abandoned me.”

“Everyone had their own demons, Nesta. You can’t blame them for dealing with theirs first before helping you. You would have destroyed each other.” She looked in his eyes with sadness swimming in hers.

“But I didn’t know how to deal with mine. What does that say about me? Always needing someone else’s help-“ He interjected sharply.

“Do you even hear yourself right now? What happened to the Nesta I fell in love with? The one who took no shit and who was ready to cut my balls off because I said the wrong thing or the one who took care of a whole estate while her father was away. You know you’re not just a pretty face. You have all this dark unlimited power inside and it’s eating away at you. You have to accept you need help sometimes, yes, but that doesn’t make you meek or helpless. Admitting that you need others to survive just makes you stronger because then you’re not lying to yourself.”

He hadn’t noticed when he’d moved but he now stood directly in front of her staring down at the top of her head as she wouldn’t meet his eyes. He couldn’t see the regret shining there. Of course she knew he loved her. She wasn’t dense. She just hoped she could trick him into moving on to someone else. No one deserved to suffer as much as he would have if she had acknowledged his feelings.

Nesta kept quiet, thousands of thoughts rushing through her head with the speed of the winds  currently rattling the house. Months of denial and resignation passing through her, the self-destruction she purposefully caused herself just to forget, to get away from her heart. She reached down and picked up the plate from the table.

“You should eat something. You were out there for a while, I imagine you need to recharge all that energy you lost.”

Cassian sighed through his nose. There he was, trying to comfort her, to show her she could trust him, and she still tried to deflect the subject. One look at her thin wrist quivering with nerves had him humoring her, though. He doubted he could ever refuse her anything. With a brush to her fingers he took the plate and stabbed the fork in a piece of boar before swallowing it without chewing much.

“I’m not really hungry,” he shrugged. She finally looked up at that, the corners of her mouth barely turned upwards, amusement shining in her eyes. He felt the tingle in his stomach just like every time his eyes met the storm in hers.

“You’re an idiot, Cassian.” He furrowed his brow, setting the plate back on the table. He opened his mouth to protest but no words left it as her lips brushed his in a gentle caress. He stood frozen in shock, disbelieving, his heart hammering in his chest as loud as the thunder in the sky. She was staring at him, his eyes, his lips, back and forth and losing her courage. He didn’t give her the chance to regret it. In a second his hands were cupping her face and bringing her toward him one more time. He poured every minute of lost time in the kiss, relishing the fireworks that exploded in his heart. He had longed for that moment ever since he’d first seen her, ever since he’d heard her voice and seen the flash in her eyes. 

Her hands tangled in his hair as she broke for air and rested her forehead against his cheek.

“I shouldn’t have kept this from you. At first I thought you deserved it. I hated you so much back then. So whenever I felt the pull I would hold back, keep it far away from you. And after the war… I was afraid.” He could hear the pain in her voice, so reflective of the one in his heart. “I was afraid I was too damaged to ever be able to be with you properly. So I hid. But you kept pushing and pushing, trying to worm your way into my heart. And I had the time to think long and hard about this.” Her thumb caressed his cheekbone. “Such an idiot.”

His breathing was coming up short.  _She'd known?_ Of course she'd known. His mind flashed back to her offer.  _You should eat something._ He had wondered where it had come from but she had spent enough time in the Night Court to know the traditions. She had offered him food. And he hadn’t thought twice about it. He never did when it came to her.

The grin that spread across half his face couldn’t even begin to describe how happy he felt in that moment. After all this time, after trying to protect  _him_ , after trying to reject the bond, she was finally accepting him. His  _mate_ was finally accepting him .  _His mate_ .

He raised her chin until her eyes met his, and the fireworks returned. He kissed her again. He couldn’t get enough of the taste of her. He buried a hand in her hair and kept her face angled towards his, foreheads pressed together and breaths mixing. 

“I know this can’t be easy for you, but I swear to you I will wait for you. I will be next to you every step of the way. I love you, Nesta. And I won’t rush you to do anything. We have forever to figure this out.”

She fully smiled then. It was maybe the first time Cassian had seen her do so in too long. She smiled, and she kissed him again.

In the dark afternoon of the mountains, with rain splattering on the window and heart beat s competing with the thunder in the skies, they sealed a connection for life,  w ith the scent of a storm and a crackling fire seeping through the room and in their souls, shaping the memory into a new beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: [ohwriteiforgot](https://ohwriteiforgot.tumblr.com)


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